Do the Hunny-Do’s
The deck needed done. It was long overdue for some care. It had reached the point that my wife routinely closed her eyes as she exited her car and walked up the steps over the weather stained boards to the front door. She had mastered the technique, careful not to trip on the nails that had resurfaced through age and rising humidity. She was tired of looking at our neglected deck and so was I.
It was our first summer in our house and I had promised to refinish our outdoor space. My intentions were good- to save some money by completing the job myself. The thought of an approving wife would pay dividends into hunting season as well. “If I finish the deck this summer I won’t have it on my conscience while I sit in a treestand” I assured myself.
Even with the best of intentions one week led to another and after a month I had only completed two sections of railing. In other words, to my wife I had abandoned my commitment. Before I knew it Fall was closing in and like the seasons, my priorities began to change. In my mind it was no big deal that I had left a few boards uncut and a couple gallons of stain still in the can, but I love my wife and my experience with her reminds me that while it may not bother me, it’s about principle.
Without the gentle nudge of a wife’s demeanor there would be half completed projects along every main street in the USA. We’re talking decks, mulch jobs, garage spring cleanings etc (or is that my current list?) I call them husband promises- made with good intentions but forgetful of time constraints and resources . The husband’s promise sounds great. It makes sense in your mind and makes you manly in hers, almost heroic. The ability to commit to an assignment and willingly multiply the demands of the hunny-do list will send her perception of you into orbit towards marital bliss. If only things were always as easy as announcing your intentions or overcommitting to your abilities.
The husband’s promise is made without thinking things through. In the man’s mind the task is as good as done. I have helped with many deck builds and squared some corners so how can this be any different? The difference does not lie in the ability of the worker but rather in the circumstances of real life.The honesty of the issue is that on any given weekday by the time you get home from work, deal with whatever has come up that day, and gather your tools the last thing you feel like doing is unrolling a tape measure- let alone take another trip to the hardware store. Our spouses, children, and friends need our attention and rightfully so. Just getting in the right frame of mind takes longer than the limited daylight minutes you have.
Then comes Saturday. I love this day as much as I can love anything that in adulthood requires unmotivated effort. When the hunny-do list is short the weekend is sought after like an encounter with a gnarly whitetail buck, discussed with your coworkers the following Monday upon arriving back to reality. Not the case when you have well intended promises to fulfill. Now is the time to pray for rain. Rain is a scapegoat that graciously assists in our idleness and for me at times offers the perfect alibi that only an Act of God can present. I cannot control the weather but I can celebrate its ability to delay my progress and justify my procrastination. But bad weather is only a short term solution. Depending on the status of the project, inclimate weather may only further delay your free time during hunting season. A midsummer rain storm is easily forgotten by the time September rolls around and no longer warrants a hold up in project completion. The “I haven’t had time” or “I’ll get to it next week” explanation holds zero weight as you start the truck before heading to the woods. Inevitably guilt sets in and feelings of selfishness may take over. This is a tough spot to be in as you struggle to balance the hunny-do’s with the draw of the woods. By this point it is easy to realize that it would have been easier to push through your procrastination earlier in the year.
Hindsight is always 20-20 and after a few years of repeating this pattern I have decided it is much easier to take care of business before I am faced with a time conflict (credit must be given to all of the understanding spouses out there). It is never easy, but by making the effort in the off season to take care of things around the house it frees up more time during the season and also adds peace of mind.
The deck was starting to look great. With only a few sections left I invited my wife out to admire my handy work and to show her I had followed through with my most recent husband promise. She indeed was impressed as she inspected the depths of the wood screws and complimented me on the extra coat of stain. Somewhere in between her awe struck breaths she placed her left hand on the top rail that I had most recently “finished”. In my rush to finish the project I had neglected to screw down the last board (no need to check screw depths though!). The 2×6 slid gracefully off the railing and onto the yard below. “No big deal, I just forgot about that one” I insisted before she could offer me her remarks. Not to take away from the nicest deck renovation on the block (my opinion obviously) I scurried down the steps to the fallen board and tightened it down with the rest of the railing before her perception even had time to take a quantum leap into negativity.
